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When diabetes goes well; all goes well. When it doesn't; it doesn't...

  • Writer's pictureMaggie

Man, Sometimes Diabetes Stinks


“Maggie, are you there?” my pal Faye asks. “Of course I’m here, where else would I be” is what I want to immediately fire back. But after a really long pause, all that exits my mouth is a slow motion, “…yah…”


Then life gets cloudy. My brain is on hiatus. It’s off in a field somewhere, no where to be found.


I don’t know why Faye asked that, where I am exactly or how long I’ve been staring down at my phone. I notice a text message that says, “What happened? I lost you” I can’t imagine why someone is asking me that. They are confused. It’s all a swirl and I’m in a fog and I don’t even realize that I’m the one that’s out to lunch.


Then I hear my sensor beep Urgent Low Sugar. “Oh, OK, I guess I better eat.” Even though I have that thought, it’s way far in the distance and it takes what feels like a year and a half to get downstairs and drink the shake I had already taken the insulin for. How long has it been? I don’t know…


Even after my blood sugar is getting back in range, there is a period of time when your CGM or blood tester says you’re back. It’s like you’re in the car to drive your life but you’re still in the back seat. It’s an improvement, you’re no longer in the trunk, but your clearly not in the drivers seat.


I absolutely hate how long it can take to come back to normal brain power. I know we all get tired and hungry but experiencing having your brain go from super sharp to slowly lowering the speed until your out-of-it, is bizarre. What amazes me is most of the time, I notice it and can adjust. But this time, I didn’t see it coming.


I’ve had Type 1 diabetes for over 30 years and I’m still brought to my knees if I go too low. Sometimes it’s no big deal and other times, it completely hijacks my day.


When my sugar is gorgeous and right in range, it’s easy to go low. It’s like always living on the edge. Perfect blood sugar is between 80-120 and yet 70 is considered a low blood sugar reaction, that’s only 10 points!! A piece of bread can raise my sugar 100 points!! It’s like living on a balance beam. It’s a small range that you need to perform on and if your blood sugar falls off either side, going too high or too low, you’re on the floor and out of the game. Sometimes you hop back up and sometimes you fall on your butt and it takes a while to recover. It’s humbling and a hell of a reminder.


I can’t afford to get busy and go into Little Ms. Efficient and just focus on getting tons of things done. Not if I don’t get my most important thing done first, like fueling my body and my brain. Other wise, it’s lights out.


It hasn’t happened in a long time and this week, it was two days in a row. One day I took insulin and forgot to eat, I got busy. And today, I over estimated how much I needed and took too much.


Even when all the blood testers and continuous glucose monitors (CGM’s) say you’re fine, if I go low enough I can still feel off, disoriented and discombobulated for hours afterwards.


And it effects everyone I know. I had to go around to first explain and then apologize. Faye was a champ. I always feel like I’m making an excuse for bad behavior but I know it’s physical. It’s real and blood sugar levels have consequences.


I actually hate that part. If I keep my blood sugar high, I may not have a chance of going low but then I can get the scary long term complications like heart disease, stroke, blindness, AHHHH!! I got it.


So I work to keep it right on target, but then I’ve GOT to stay alert, so I count my carbs right and watch the timing of when I take the insulin and when I eat food. In the morning it takes longer for the insulin to kick in and that’s what usually gets me. I want to finish my morning routine before I go to the kitchen.


Egads Maggie, if you don’t knock this off you can a few loose hours or even ½ to a full day!! You can’t be effective when you’re clueless. Having diabetes, or really any medical condition, reminds you we are all walking chemistry sets. I don’t want to know how my pancreas works. I just want it to work and without my help.


We all need to take care of ourselves so we’re healthy and our best. Diabetes just gives you short term consequences, if you don’t. It’s the bad news and the good news. Yes, I usually feel great. Today, not so great. Time to get back to the basics and not let anything get in the way. Other wise I just loose time and brain power. OK God, I’m listening. Thanks for another chance.

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