I had one of the most divine experiences of my entire life. I had the privilege of being with my Mom when she took her last breath and it was spectacular. I’m grateful I listened to God’s nudges and that I keep listening. I’ve never considered myself religious, yet this was truly divine.
I got that phone call. The one you know is coming but dread. The one you know means Mom will be able to rest, but it’s not easy to know what to do. I was told to come see Mom last weekend since we didn’t know if she would make it to this Saturday, when I was scheduled to arrive. Mom made it through that weekend but I knew she was close.
I followed the divine nudge to re-pack my suitcase as soon as I arrived back home. My head questioned it but I just followed the divine flow, rode the loving wave, feeling better as I did. I was ready.
We had a plan. Daniela, Mom’s care giver would give her Morphine to keep Mom comfortable and then it would be 10-12 hours and she would be gone. Last weekend Frank, the hospice nurse, apologized for these hard decisions. I told him the decisions were actually easy. Not wanting her to suffer anymore was my goal. Watching her over the years, and especially the day by day lately, that was really the hard part.
4 days later, I got a text that the morphine had started. My son was alerted too and was going to travel to be with his grandmother, so Mom was not alone. I found a flight and was out of my house in 30 minutes on my way to the airport. That in itself was a huge win and I was so proud of myself that I listened and was very grateful to God that I was ready. I begged my husband, Stewart to stay in Houston and finish this weeks scheduled lab tests, so I wouldn’t loose both of them. He lovingly agreed, I know that wasn’t easy. But he is also always with me, like Mom, no matter where I am. They are inside my heart and soul, always. Little did I know that was about to magnify.
I spoke to God on the plane and journaled my love and how blessed I feel that I always knew I was loved. I did a ton of breathing exercises, wrote goals for how I wanted the time with Mom to go. All this had prepared me so I could easily deepen the special bond we always shared. I could give to the very special person who had always made me feel safe and loved. This time, Mom could feel all that love and know she was safe to rest.
I was strong until I had a mixup at Budget rent-a-car. They needed me to wait and water immediately sprang from my eyes. I just let out how I was racing to get to my Mom in time for her last breath and if they couldn’t handle the car contract, I would Uber because I was leaving in 2 minutes. I was coming apart at the seams. The woman at the counter was so nice to the weepy raving lunatic in front of her and swore they would take care of me and quickly. They did and I was off to get to Mom. I opened the windows to let the air dry my tears and for me to snap me out of it, so I could be ready for what I was about to face.
I was calm when I finally got to Mom. She was in bed, eyes closed, looking so frail and facing Daniela, her care giver for the past 6 years. Mom was on oxygen quietly breathing. Daniela told Mom I was there. Mom struggled to try and communicate with me but she couldn’t.
I could hear the Lifetime channel blaring on the TV in her room. Jennifer Lopez was being attacked, trying to protect her daughter. I really wanted to turn it off. Why is women’s programming filled with boogie men and such scary scenarios? Egads, but I knew to ignore what was behind me and just focus on my Mom.
What happened next was miraculous. Mom straightened her neck, which she hadn’t done in 5 years, turned her head towards me, opened her blue eyes and looked intently at me like I have never experienced in my entire life. She was trying to talk and tell me something but her body prevented her. I knew what to do. I just smiled and beamed divine Energy like I never had before, telling her she is so loving, she did all her jobs beautifully and now she can rest.
The more God talked through me, the calmer she got. I could feel such love travel through us soul to soul, without words. It felt like a transmission, her loving soul was leaving her body and was coming even more powerfully into mine.
We always had a special bond and I could feel her sending me so much love. I feel it now recounting this divine and miraculous gift. I told her my son was on his way. She closed her eyes and waited. We breathed together in unison. Charlie arrived and we loved on Mom until she took her last breath.
The spooky cool part was I knew she had left her body. Her skin had proceeded to turn white and cold. It was a beautiful gift, I was clear her soul was no longer in it. She’s forever in me and stronger than ever. I am relieved she’s at peace.
I’ve known my whole life that I am loved and that came from her. I am so grateful. My Mom helped change the world forever by taking her pain and helping to build the Children’s Medical Center at Long Island Jewish Hospital in New York so other families did not to have to travel to Boston to try and cure their sick child, like she did. I am so proud of how she has changed the planet and worked to help the lives of millions of families, so it’s easier for them. My childhood was filled with her cooking and arranging wonderful fundraisers and licking envelopes together and my going door to door for donations. Thanks Mom, that’s why it’s so easy for me to close and ask for the order, it helps people and changes lives for the better.
Tomorrow is the celebration. I bought brightly colored paper plates, streamers, balloons and glasses that say ‘Celebrate’ on them. No sadness here, there is peace and profound gratitude for a life well lead. I’m putting together photos I brought with me and Stewart joins me tomorrow and then we celebrate Mom in a joyous and happy way. The good news of being the family member closet to Mom is I get to bring divine Energy and set the tone and conversation on being grateful, reverent and honoring the greatest woman I have ever known.
Thank you for letting me share this amazing tale with you. Please don’t be sorry for my loss. There is no loss. Just love, peace and joyous reverence. Thank you for being my friends and supporting a life for me in love and all of us having the Energy strength to expand. Thank you all for having the strength and joy to be who you really are and have life go the way of ease, flow and better than we could ever imagine.