“Well three of us will be here, we might have Mom’s celebration in 2 days.” I knew it was a both a good idea on paper and in reality. Then we would be here with Daniela and David and be able to honor them and say goodbye to Mom. We decided my missing sister, brother and brother in law would have a celebration for Mom at my sister’s house in Mexico in the summer. But Daniela, David and I, needed closure and we needed it now.
I ended up in Target to get a plug to connect my iPad to the big activity room TV for a presentation I would create. I had all night to put together some of the old photos from growing up I threw in my suitcase before leaving Houston. I wanted to give everyone an idea of who the woman was that they had taken such great care of for last 6 years.
I was walking past the party supply isle and decided to grab a bunch of colorful decorations. I could just see my Mom rolling her eyes to the ceiling and saying, “Oh Margaret, is that really necessary?” Yes Mom, it is. I need this to be fun. Nothing sad. It’s been sad for years watching you suffer, now we’re going to celebrate you.
I brought striped paper plates, napkins, streamers and balloons. I tossed in fun eyeglasses that said ‘celebrate’ so everyone knew it was a party. Happy time, no loss, no sadness, just Mom stories with joy and love shared by all.
I know the 3 of us had very different lives with Mom. My older sister Ellen missed Mom as she was caring for a sick brother and then morned his passing. My younger brother was the surprise child who lived in the basement working on building his muscles. Me, I was the middle child who just kept asking for attention. I got past Mom’s walls and just kept talking until she’d talk back. We had time together for years after school and I loved it.
I always knew I was loved and that came from my Mom. Mom was an intellectual like my sister Ellen. They were both really smart and got spectacular grades. Mom said she never got notes from school that Ellen was ever out of class or in the Theatre Lounge. I said they never had those notes then, but you could never put anything past Mom. We’d laugh and I just kept engaging her, so she’d keep talking.
Mom grew up in New York City. In fact this is the only time I have ever seen her with a ball in her arms. Aunt Joan, what’s up with that?! Mom used to talk about coming home from her sorority at night on the subway, no problem. Yup, that was a long time ago. The sisters grew up and they were certainly gorgeous.
Mom was so pissed when she got divorced, she didn’t even look for scissors, she just ripped Dad out of the photos. That’s about as hostile as she got. He did the classic betrayal and left her for a younger woman, one of his sales rep’s. I remember when Melinda was shocked when he cheated on her. I looked at her in shock and said, “What did you think my Mom was, Attila the Hun? He cheats!”
Norman Goodman saved the day! No one talked about divorce or getting re-married then. Being the middle child strikes again, I got Norman to talk and we got along great.
I would rub his shoulders and he would get me LP’s at Korvettes. We also went a lot to Peter Lugar’s or North Shore Steak House every Tuesday night with his Dad.
Poppa would introduce me as his granddaughter. I always felt included and loved.
What makes me the most proud is how Mom took her pain from loosing two sons and helped to build the Children’s Medical Center at Long Island Jewish Hospital. Here she’s with her pals (Lenore Schupak, Buddie Levkoff, Mom - Marcia Goodman and Aileen Osofsky. Together they made a huge difference for families who could now have medical specialists close to home in NY and didn’t have to travel to Boston for years, like she did.
Mom’s Legacy Lives On!
GRANDA was her FAVORITE job and she was truly loved!
Eventually, we all got older and Mom needed help. She got a room at Agape Senior Living in Scottsdale. “Mom, you always wanted a house in Scottsdale, now you only had to buy a room.”
“Very funny Margaret” was her reply. She rarely thought I was funny but I always kept trying.
I knew if anyone could get Mom to move and use her muscles, it was Daniela and David at Agape. If you ever need someone loved and cared for, this is the place. I am SO forever grateful to them for all the love and attention they gave my Mom. She clearly lived many years over her expiration date, thanks to them.
Mom always brought out comedic material in me and always will.
Click on the video.
It’s a privilege to celebrate the greatest woman I have ever known. THANKS for reading and letting me share my Mom and her extraordinary life.
Mom, I’ll always love you!